First & Last Date or Last First Date?

First dates – some of you are in relationships and haven’t been on a first day in a while, some of you are married and hopefully won’t ever go on a first date again, but for those of us who are single, first dates are typically a frequent event. If you haven’t been on one recently, let me remind you… you’ve either met this person in a bar or through a mutual friend or maybe you met them online (as many people do these days).  You make plans to grab drinks, have dinner or something else. There are the pre-meeting nerves, the “do I look okay?” doubts, the “will he/she be as I remembered/expect?” thoughts, it’s really the anticipation that kills. But once you’re on the date and have survived the initial awkwardness, things usually get better. Usually.

So first dates can go in a variety of directions. If you’re lucky, you have a night of good conversations, laughs and a few drinks. And if you’re really lucky, you’ll have that mutual attraction, maybe get a kiss goodnight, and hopefully hear from the person within a few days. If you’re not so lucky you might not feel the attraction, conversation might be awkward, or it may be so bad that you have to sneak out the back door somehow (not proud, but yes, I’ve done this). Each first date is a new opportunity to make a good impression and either come away with a friend, a potential relationship or worst-case scenario, just another first date under your belt.

So my question is, how many first dates can a person take in their lifetime? Are we meant to be able to endure an infinite number of first dates, awkward or not? Because after each failed attempt, I feel my tolerance slowly disintegrating along with my faith in the honesty of people. If you’re not feeling the date, why don’t we just say so? Why do we just leave the person wondering at the end of the date whether the other person is going to call? I’m guilty of this too, so I’m including myself in this rant, but why can’t we just say what we are thinking and feeling and be done with it? Maybe it comes down to not wanting to hurt peoples’ feelings, but I think never calling them again or ignoring their text messages probably does more damage. Anyways, the first dates have to end somewhere. These days my first dates tend to be last dates, but hopefully one day I’ll have a last first date instead.  Until then, I’m going to enjoy each first date as much as I can… I’m in no rush.

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One response to “First & Last Date or Last First Date?

  1. Craig Brfield

    Hello Emily. I hope you dont mind a comment from a “geezer” but seeing how I am happily single I think I may can give you some perspective. Honesty is always the best policy so never appoligize for it. Honesty is one of the most important things you have to have in a relationship. Its one of the things I look for in a woman. If you cannot be yourself with another person and vise/versa its not good for either one of you & true honesty will give you the freedom to be yourself. ALL worthwhile relationships have to have it. Also, a confident, caring man will not be intimidated by an honest, independent woman so dont appoligize for wanting it. Since your not in a rush, try & take the pressure off of yourself and look for an honest person you can talk to,have fun with, and be yourself with. Dont worry about how long it might take. Remember, your NOT looking for someone you can “live with”, your looking for someone you cant live without. It’ll be worth the wait.

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